


She is, She is, She is

by theytoldmetowrite



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Football | Soccer, USWNT, semi-au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7600288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theytoldmetowrite/pseuds/theytoldmetowrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julie is about to get married, and she contemplates how they got here, from the first day where Christen sent her to the hospital, up to her most recent hospital trip that broke everything down for them.  </p><p>or, Julie and Christen  have to choose between what they know and how they feel ft their friends who have also gone through the same thing and there's a lot of pining from both sides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning, I have absolutely no idea how fucked up the time line's accuracy is for the story's sake. let's just assume things happened in the order that they did.  
> Thanks for reading. I appreciate feedback. Also, Unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

Julie smooths the white dress down. It fits her perfectly, the lace contouring to her body, the design simple but elegant. Her blonde locks are down but held up in a loose updo that accentuates her blue eyes. Her mind goes back to a year ago when she went to her fitting.

She snapped a picture and sent it to Christen, asking her what she thinks. Thinking back on it, she should have known back then, when Christen didn't immediately reply, knowing that she was just spending her day back home with her dogs. She really should have known when she finally woke up to a reply sent at 3 in the morning.

**_"You look perfect."_ **

That was right before everything went downhill. She should have known, staring at those three words, feeling warm all over but at the same time feeling like something was wrong.

_Huh, the understatement of the century._

A knock breaks her out of her thoughts, and Crystal pokes her head in. "Girl I know you look fine as hell but we got a wedding to get on with" she says in mock annoyance. When Julie doesn't immediately respond, she walks to take the other girl's cold fingers in her hands. "Hey. It's ok. You look perfect, everything's gonna be fine. You're finally gonna get to spend the rest of your life with your soulmate, and all that stuff you told me, right?"

_Yes. My soulmate._ It is also a concept she learned from Christen, which, again, she should have known, known by how it was the first time she felt like things made sense.

It reassures her, grounds her, and not for the first time, she is thankful for Crystal. Julie smiles, and nods her head, feeling excited, to finally walk down the aisle. This is it. I'm getting married. She gives one final glance at the mirror, the words echoing in her mind.

_**"You look perfect."** _

 

* * *

 

_Florida, 2013_

"You look like shit, kid."

"Abby!" There was a swift scolding from Christie Rampone. This is her second day of confinement, the doctor intent on keeping her for at least 3 days to make sure there are no complications for her ribs.

Julie chuckles, then winces in pain. "It's fine, I do feel like shit, and I couldn't really sleep and move much last night, so it makes sense that I'd look like shit."

"Memorable first camp huh." Abby remarks. "Don't worry, you'll get back to playing in no time." Her other visitors slowly file inside the hospital room. There's Crystal, her fellow first timer, followed by Alex, THE Alex Morgan, (she still can't quite believe that she's playing with the greatest players ), then there's Tobin Heath, Becky Sauerbrun, Hope Solo, followed by a smirking Kelley O'Hara. The others that follow try to find a way to make themselves fit inside the room.

The last person to come in is the person responsible for putting her in the hospital, Pinoe making the unnecessary fanfare. "Aaaaand here she is! The girl who knocked the breath out of you, and still is, apparently." she says after noticing how Julie's breath catches when her eyes land on said person.

_Christen._

She makes her way towards the bed, to where Julie was propped up in a 45 degree angle, and sits down at the edge, her green eyes intensely worried. Some of their team mates watch this exchange, others immediately poking and prodding the various tubes and lines they see.

"Dude, she broke a rib, I'm pretty sure her breath is stolen every time she breathes." HAO's comment thankfully takes the attention away from them, but makes the guilt sitting in Christen's chest all the more heavier. Her voice sounds so sorry that it Julie finds herself wanting to be the one apologizing. "I am so so sorry. "

"Two ribs, actually." Pinoe pipes in. Julie, for her part, still cannot form a coherent thought, because it's her first time seeing Christen not in their training gear. It's their day off (which explains how they all somehow managed to visit her), and everybody was dressed casually. Her wavy hair was down, framing her face, and Julie finds herself sighing deeply at the sight. She winces again, being reminded of how she broke her rib. Or two.

It was the first day of camp, and she and Crystal were being starstruck at being able to meet and talk and play with the national team. They were grouped into three teams, and started with scrimmages after their warm ups. Julie feels confident because they have Alex on their team. She did not, however, expect how deadly the forward from the other team is. She did not expect the sweet quiet smiling girl to be this dangerous on the field. JJ tries to read the forwards that she's matched against. Leroux and Wambach she can still somehow follow, but this forward, Christen, is a little harder to read, because of how quiet she is, and how different she is in handling the ball.

Julie knows nothing about her, except that she's been training with the team for a year now but was an alternate in the 2012 Olympics, (something she learned after her first frustrating day of being scored on). She is also uncapped, something that didn't make sense to Julie until she found out why.

She isnt like the usual players she's used to who are loud and aggressive. She doesn't shout like Abby, she just silently tracks the ball with her eyes, intense and focused. She's sneakier, in a sense, and has a completely different style of play that keeps catching Julie by surprise. She can't count the number of times Christen managed to slip past her and made shots, and by the end of practice, Julie can feel herself getting frustrated, not liking the feeling of losing. The next days are pretty much the same. Julie is a good defender, she knows that, and it frustrates her at how she can't quite catch the forward's style of play. Try as she might, her defense just isn't built for her type of offense, and when they walk off the field, she has the familiar feeling of wanting to scream.

That night, she tries to find out everything and anything she can about one Christen Press. It's almost dawn when she finally closes her laptop, and she rubs the sleepiness away. _Whoa. I was not expecting that_. At first, she was intimidated when she saw the words Stanford, record holder after breaking Kelley O'Hara's own record, Mac Hermann trophy award winner,(Ohmygod she won over Alex Morgan), double major etc from the various articles and sites she creeped on. She's watched interviews and videos, and her initial awestruck reaction when she first laid eyes on Christen is now back, but with more weight this time.

She remembers that very first instance she saw her. She could almost swear that time stopped, and she had the almost inevitable feeling that she's gonna like this girl and they'll get along well. That is, until she had to defend against her and was left eating Christen's dust most of the time. But now, after spending a whole night with her 'research', it's back in full force.

Later that morning, the only thing that kept her running during their practice is the two cups of coffee she downed at breakfast. She can feel her lack of sleep affecting her play, and she laments their team grouping. _Why do I have to go against her? Again?_ The other players have been scrambled but somehow, she and Christen still ended up on opposing teams. It's a full field scrimmage, and Julie is torn between awe and frustration, more of the latter as the minutes passed by and she still can't build a good rhythm defending against their attack . She sees Pinoe make a pass towards Abby, and she immediately reacts, tracking Abby as the ball connects with her head. Julie realizes it too late. _It's a pass!_ She sees the ball bounce to where Christen is making her run. The defender in her acts in reflex, determined to not let the ball any closer to the goal and she changes her direction. Her caffeine-drunk brain makes the mistake of timing her sliding tackle to Christen's shot. She slides in right when the striker's foot is pulled and loaded, releasing a split second later and instead of the ball, Christen's cleated foot plants itself in her left lateral area.

They both go down, and Julie can't remember anything after that except the excruciating pain and feeling like someone stole all the air in her lungs, not being able to breathe. She doesn't even remember the moment her vision blacks out. The only thing that sticks to her memory is the horrified look the striker gives her once she picked her head up from where she stumbled.

"You passed out from the pain." She turns her head towards the voice, brought back to her present bedridden state. "I really am sorry, I didn't expect you to go for a tackle that fast. I didn't even see you." Even though she's the one in pain, Julie automatically tries to comfort the other girl.

"No, it was my fault, I " _was too frustrated that I can't seem to defend properly against you and was running on caffeine because I spent the whole night stalking you_ "...made a bad call."

Christen squeezes her hand, which she didn't realize the other girl was holding and had been for a while now.

"You did get back on her though, her foot's a bit swollen." Pinoe laughs, then realizes it was no laughing matter. "Jeez, just how hard did she actually hit you to hurt her own foot?" They don't get to hear the answer, because door opens and Dawn, their fitness trainer, comes in. She looks around at the fully packed room and shakes her head.

"Come on, out with you lot. She needs rest." They all grumble their goodbyes, KO and Pinoe stealing sweets from the get well basket.

"You too Pressy." she says when she sees that Christen has made no move while most of the team is already out on the hallway. Julie sees her purse her lips, sensing another squeeze on her hand. "I'm really sorry" Christen says once more.

"Well, what a way to break the new blood in eh, Press?" Dawn comments while she flips through a chart. "You knocked the breath out of this one with your skills. Might take her some time to start breathing normally whenever she sees you." she chuckles at her own literal joke. Julie isn't surprised at the blush on her own face. What does surprise her, is the red on Christen's cheeks, who suddenly couldn't look at her. She shyly goes out the door, leaving Dawn to explain the recovery period.

Julie is only half listening though, until Dawn says "well, I hope you start fully breathing after two weeks of rest. Just don't do anything reckless like going for her like that again, the both of you might get worse than broken ribs and a swollen foot."

* * *

_Present time_

There is another knock, and both she and Crystal turn towards the sound.

"Can I come in?" The voice from the other side makes them look at each other's faces again, and they have a mental conversation, one word clear on both their expressions. Zach.

_Just don't do anything reckless like going for her like that again, the both of you might get worse than broken ribs and a swollen foot._

She had no idea how prophetic those words were in the events to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, the time line might be a bit jumpy because I just wanted to post this since im going away for a while, and the part I've finished have no bridges between them.

_WWC, post Semifinal with Germany_

   


Christen has been worried about Julie ever since they arrived at the hotel. She went straight to her room and hasn't come out since. No, that's not true, she's been worried ever since she saw Julie put her hands up to shield her eyes when the ref hoisted that yellow card in the air, sure that she's crying. She shot up from her seat when Popp, the German player, goes down and the whistle blows, calling the foul. _Oh no_. She feels dread at the consequence of that foul, but at the moment, her eyes are trained on the defender who has a very remorseful expression on her face. _She's going to blame herself._ She knows Julie well enough by now to know what's going on in the blonde's mind.

She sees Broon and Solo approach Julie, and the others who were near, tap her and encourage her that it's ok. Christen clenches her hands, wishing nothing more than to be in the field so she too can hug her and tell her it's going to be okay and that it's not her fault. She closes her eyes in relief when the PK goes wide (recognizing Hope's delaying and psyching tactics) completely missing the net, changing the mood of the game and firing the US team up. She watches Jj get back to being one of the best defenders, keeping their back line solid until the very last minute.

She was worried when she saw Julie tear up in her interview, trying to laugh and shield her face from the camera. She was worried when she marched into her room, and when Julie didn't come down for dinner, it was the last straw. She and KO are in their room, they were instructed to rest up for the night because tomorrow would be all about recovery and meetings, something she knows Julie is dreading because her foul will be mentioned.

"Going somewhere?" Kelley asks, seeing that she was checking her things, which she always does before leaving. She simply replies with one word. "Julie."

Kelley's eyes widen in understanding. "Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Of course. Give her a hug for me." her celebratory attitude dampens a little.

"Are you gonna stay with her for tonight?" Christen shrugs, unsure if Julie will even let her in. "I don't mind trading roomies for a night" Kelley says, doing whatever she can to help, but then her lips quirk into a mischievous smile. "Might give me some solo time with Solo." Christen rolls her eyes. "You're impossible." she laughs before she walks out of their room, down the hallway towards where Hope and Julie were rooming together.

She is about to knock when Hope opens the door, and Christen smooths her startled face as the keeper shuts the door behind her. "Kelley let me know you were coming" she says softly. _Oh_. She nods in reply. "I'll be in the other room with Kelley." Hope lightly squeezes on her arm, and Christen can hear the unspoken _I'm entrusting her to you,_ unsure if it's out of trust or a warning. She watches Hope walk away, then she breathes deeply before she finally gives a slight knock on the door. She hears no reply, and she slowly opens it, her eyes immediately scrambling to adjust to the dark once she stepped inside.

The only source of light is from the lamp on Hope's side of the bed, and it gives Christen the chance to see the lump of sad human puppy that is Julie Johnston, curled underneath the blankets. Julie, thinking Hope forgot something, lifts her head towards the doorway. She stills when she sees Christen with her hands behind her back, biting her lip in worry. The striker slowly walks towards her, never breaking eye contact, until she is standing over her. Christen can clearly see that Julie has been crying, and she feels a wrangling feeling in her chest at the knowledge, growing with every second that she stares down at blue eyes that normally sparkle with laughter. She kneels and folds her hands at the edge of the bed, putting her chin on top. She sees a tear leak out and her thumb immediately wipes it away, her palm cradling Julie's face, feeling Julie's pain. When she can't take it anymore, she lifts the blanket and slips in. Julie automatically latches on, her hand already clenched around Christen's shirt, and she begins to cry earnestly.

"I almost cost us the cup." Christen knows saying they won won't make things better, so she just holds her, readjusting her position so that she's higher up and can tuck the blonde's head under her chin. "Shhhh." she puts light kisses on Julie's brow and hair. "It's gonna be ok. I'm right here." And strangely, Julie believes her, is comforted by this in a way the team doesn't. Not that she's not grateful of course, but it's just different when it's Christen hugging her and telling her it's ok. She lets herself relive that moment, braver and feeling safer now that the forward's arms are around her.

***

She felt the world crashing when she heard the whistle. _No, Oh God, no_. She knows what that means. The ref's hand goes up, hoisting a yellow card. A PK. She puts her hands to her face to shield her eyes that are already starting to leak tears. _I made us lose. I'm gonna make us lose this world cup._ She doesn't know when or how but suddenly, Becky is there, cupping her cheeks, gently smiling. "It's ok. It's fine." _No, it is not fine, how could she say it's fine. How_ _can she be so calm? She should be screaming at me_.

Eventually, seeing her mentor and fellow center back so calm made her take a deep breath. And then Hope's hands dig into her upper arms, telling her it's not her fault and not to think about it. The two Alexandras come next, Alex's arms coming around her shoulder and patting her in a firm manner, matching the it's okay we'll get them back pep talk she spouts. Julie nods, not believing them but very thankful for their support.

Having her team support her despite her error gives her the breathing space she needs to remember that they still have a game going on. She walks to her spot, and she wants to cry full force when she sees Sasic highfiving her team mates. They all know how good she is. She looks over to Hope, literally their only hope left if they were to advance in the finals. She prays, with every fiber of her being, she prays and begs that the best goal keeper can keep save them. Hope takes her time, walking away from the net to get her water bottle, feebly arguing with the ref, then calmly walks back to the center of the goal line. This is it. This is the moment of truth. _Please get blocked._ _Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease._ It was the only thought in her mind, and she almost closes her eyes the moment Sasic takes her shot. It goes towards the left, and her heart drops a second time when Hope dives towards the wrong direction. The ball keeps going to the left, far off the target, and the whole stadium explodes. Julie has never felt more relieved in her entire life. _We're safe, we still have a chance._ She is smiling, smiling but still also crying. _I never should have fouled her in the first place_. Hope, ever perceptive of her backline, notices how she's still beating herself up. "It's fine, Julie, we're fine. We need you." Julie takes a moment to breathe, then wipes her tears. "OK. I'll be there."

That one missed kicked changed the morale on both teams. It gave Julie the motivation to fight harder, it gave Carli the determination to not repeat it on her PK, and when Kelley scored the second goal, she knew they already won. The final whistle blows. Pinoe hugs her from behind, then walks both of them over to hug Hope, sandwiching her between them. Broon comes over again, knowing she needs the reassurance, and Pinoe, in typical Pinoe fashion, lifts Broon up and walks them away.

***

When the interviewer was asking her questions, she couldn't help the tears from coming out again as the sense of failure overcomes her. She has been feeling it all the way back to the hotel, and is still feeling it even now as they lay on the bed. But with every hum and coo, every stroke of Christen's thumb on her cheek, every breath they take together when her sobs finally subside, it slowly melts away, and she begins to believe. _Yeah, we're gonna be okay. We're gonna win._  

  


_WWC Final vs Japan_

Julie sinks to her knees on the ground when the final whistle blows. She looks up and sees Hope walking towards her, smiling ear to ear. They did it. They finally did it. After 15 years, the USWNT finally reclaimed the World Cup with a 5-2 score against Japan. All around her is mayhem, the team hugging and crying with each other. She knows how much this means to the players from four years ago, from eight years ago, but to her, and her fellow first timers, it marks a bar for them, to have played and won their first world cup.

She seeks out the number 23 and finds that she doesn't have to, not really. Not when Christen stands out, stock still, looking at her amidst the celebration and confetti, and she is the only thing that Julie sees in the middle of all the shouting and chaos. Their eyes connect, and even though they're at a distance from each other, it feels as if they were standing next to each other. Their is a fire in both their gazes, one that burns and soothes, one that exhilarates and frightens both of them. T

heir moment is gone when Pinoe wraps her with the flag. She can see Alex and Tobin having their own moment, wrapped in each other, and Tobin lifts Alex up, who was trying not to tear up but absolutely failing. There is a moment where Alex pulls the flag over both of them. It doesn't even reach five seconds before Alex puts the flag down and they are looking at each other with teary eyes, and Tobin pulls away, looking for her fellow New Kids. Julie doesn't think much on it, they were all high on the feeling of being world champions.

   


Christen can't help but feel emotional, feeling the weight of their win finally settle on her. She always dreamed of this, ever since she was a young girl on the stands, looking in from the outside, and now she is part of the inside, part of the team that recaptured a nation...the world. A tear escapes and she wipes it off. She sees Hope with her arms lazily slung around JJ, and no matter how much she wants to hug her(she's seen Alex and Tobin with the flag and it makes her envious that she can't do the same with J), she doesn't, knowing that the backline has a special bond and that she doesn't want to interfere with.

The three star shirts are brought out and Christen feels another wave of tears hit her. She looks around and sees Julie raining confetti down on baby Zoe; the sight tugs at her heart.

The locker room is another set of mayhem. The lockers had to be tapes with plastic to make sure it doesn't get sprayed with the champagne they are splashing around. Christen stands back for the most part, already feeling the rambunctiousness from her team mates, but especially form JJ, who carries Cap bridal style. howling in glory. Christen can't be any happier for her, remembering when JJ talked about Cap writing her a letter and believing in her. She's surprised how her happiness still has the capacity to go higher at the sight. 

***

They didn't expect that being world champions would be this exhausting. They get a call from the President, they are invited to the White House, they go home to see young girls looking at them with absolute adoration the way they did when they were that age. To Christen though, the life changing moment is during the ticker parade.

There were just so many people. The float turns around the corner and the sight that greets her sends goosebumps up her arms. Beside her, she hears Julie have the same reaction, at the same time she feels the girl grip her arm for support. "Oh my god." Her head snaps up to look at Julie, who was significantly taller than she normally is because she was a step higher on the platform, noting the awestruck look in her eyes. It brings a warmth in Christen's chest, and she steps up so she can be level with JJ, who turns to look at her with an open mouth as if to say are you seeing this? Christen laughs a little, and nods her head.

They refocus their gazes to the crowd that is throwing confetti, shouting their names; they've never felt more supported and loved by fans than at that moment. She knows she must have the same expression on her face, but she isn't entirely sure it's because of the crowd. Especially not when she feels the hand still gripping her arm slacken, slowly sliding down and slotting itself against her palm. She looks down at their hands, captivated by the way paler fingers curl to delicately rest on her knuckles, the way her own curl in response. She looks up when she feels a squeeze. JJ is smiling at her, and this close she can see every fleck of color on her eyes; she can even see some of the freckles she loves so much.

JJ crinkles her nose at her, and Christen can't help but chuckle. The grip on her hand doesn't loosen, her heart maintaining its bounding rhythm ever since they rounded the corner. Nope. Definitely not the crowd. Not for her, but it might not be the case for Julie. She feels a pang of pain at the thought, but doesn't want to examine it.

***

They are up on the podium, and she's beside JJ once more. Abby, on JJ's other side, starts chanting and jumping. The crowd goes wild for them, confetti being thrown from every direction, drowning them in a sea of red, white, and blue. Christen feels an arm go around her waist, a hand resting above her hip. She looks up at Julie, smiling so brightly at her. Christen realizes that the blonde is smiling _at_ her, _because of her_ , in front of all the world to see, whether Julie herself realizes it or not.

She is suddenly acutely aware of the hand on her waist, of the way Julie smells when the blonde pulls her in for a side hug, and Christen continues looking at her when she turns to the crowds to scream with them, her face alight with so much pride and joy. And in that moment, Christen finally acknowledges something that she's always known but never really wanted to fully confirm.

_I am in love with Julie Johnston._

The roar of the crowd pulls her attention, and she hollers along at the top of her lungs, wanting to get the pressure off her chest. She may not be shouting what she really wants to shout, but the person she wants to shout about is an excited ball of energy beside her, holding her close, and to Christen, that's good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> JJ and Press just have certain characteristics that make them work together as a pair. I only write when I see something worth writing about, but they basically write the story themselves, the same way I see O'solo. All the drama and story potential y'all


End file.
